I have measured out my life in literary coffee house jokes

Although I’m sure many of you are already aware of this brilliant tumblr/blog, I felt the need to share the link just in case anyone was not. It’s called Literary Starbucks, and I’ve included their posts featuring our two fave {so far} modernists below.


t. s. eliot



Also, a couple of my personal favorites:

iago chopin



Claire Everett
I love poetry, music, well written tv, T. S. Eliot, antiques, words, healing crystals, Etsy, choral singing, Monet, short stories, cats, English major jokes, lilacs, insane out of control run-on sentences, H. D., piccardy thirds, modernism, everyday rituals, Richard Siken, stained glass, E. E. Cummings, people who refer to God as “Her,” UMW ELC, the way sunlight shines through other things, musicals, imagism, Walt Whitman, half-meaning, purple pens, writing in second person, and you, among at least 333,000 other things.


  1. My hints should have been 1) the wrapping, which matches the gift from last semester now hanging above the reading chair in my office, and 2) no one speaking up when I asked who left them. I am grateful. Thanks, Claire.

  2. CLAIRE. YES. LITERARY STARBUCKS IS MY FAVORITE. Great Claires think alike, apparently.

    A few other gems:
    Thorin Oakenshield: Thorin Oakenshield goes up to the counter and orders a venti coffee black with whipped cream. It’s been a long time since he’s had this drink. He’s not entirely sure what’s inside. All he knows is that he wants it with every fiber of his being. The barista makes the drink quickly but fears what will happen to Thorin when he drinks it. The barista sneaks out from behind the counter and gives the drink to the tall blonde man in the corner. It’s better this way. Right?

    W.H. Auden: W. H. Auden goes up to the counter and orders
    His drink is simple, a perfect drink for a chill day in fall.
    He has come to this shop after collecting his quarters
    And has found that he has just enough money for a tall.
    Why is he in this particular Starbucks? Where to after this?
    Though he drank so little coffee, he found that it was bliss.

    Miss Havisham: Miss Havisham goes up to the counter and orders a green tea. She sits down at a table in the corner and never leaves.

    Sylvia Plath: Sylvia Plath goes up to the counter, and she doesn’t know what she’s doing in Starbucks. She decides to order a strawberry frappuccino. On the other side of the window, fiery leaves have begun to fall. The leaves are too red; they remind her of beetles, of darkness, of the taut skin of the dead. The taste of strawberries turns thick and sour.

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